


Waiting Until Graduation

by purplekitte



Category: Horus Heresy - Various Authors, Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, M/M, Rejection, Requited Love, Teacher-Student Relationship, The Crimson Fist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 19:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2518598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplekitte/pseuds/purplekitte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Professor!Dorn/Student!Sigismund, waiting until graduation</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting Until Graduation

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted from [tumblr](http://adepta-astarte.tumblr.com/post/84170100321/professor-dorn-student-sigismund-waiting-until)

‘Stop,’ Dorn said, his voice like ice. ‘Don’t even start thinking that way.’

‘But you have, right? I just want to know if this is all me, all in my head. I’ll back off if you’re not interested in me. I thought...’

The way their eyes met. The slight smile every time Dr. Dorn--Rogal, Sigismund thought, feeling a little bit wicked when even the most senior grad students were too intimidated to use his first name out loud--saw him in the halls or brought him the undergrads’ homework to grade, the one he had for no one else. Dorn who took him seriously, who didn’t look at him and see a dumb jock, who told him his ideas were bold, not crazy. The long talks they’d had that had nothing to do with Sigismund’s dissertation, when Dorn talked about growing up in Copenhagen and Sigismund talked about Fort Yukon, and what they liked to do on weekends. About loneliness or failed relationships or what they might want in one.

Dorn’s hand had been so warm when Sigismund had put his hand over it. He’d imagined he’d seen longing there.

‘You thought. You didn’t think.’

‘I understand we can’t now. I don’t want you to lose your job.’

‘It’s more than my job. Your entire degree would come into question even if nothing were to happen until after you graduate.’

‘But you’re... you.’ Everyone knew Dorn’s reputation for scrupulous, if not draconian, fairness. ‘I would never trying to take advantage of... I wouldn’t ask for...’

‘I know what I would and wouldn’t do,’ Dorn said, still cold, still accusatory. ‘I cannot be your advisor anymore. I cannot be on your committee at all. You cannot enrol in or TA for any of my courses again. Do not come by my office again.’

Sigismund felt like the rug had just been pulled out from under him. ‘I’m sorry,’ not even sure what he was apologising for. Ruining things. Not pining in silence. Having such a stupid crush in the first place. But it wasn’t just a crush. He...

‘Sigismund,’ and maybe it was his imagination Dorn warmed an almost imperceptible faction just saying his name. ‘We can’t do this. _If_ we have no more contact in an academic setting where I have a position of authority over you and _if_ you still feel this way, then we can even begin to have this conversation.’

‘I understand.’ And he did, and it felt wonderful, his heart flying as high as it had the moment before. Not a rejection. Not hatred or disgust that he would dare feel such a way. Because Sigismund did. He knew he wouldn’t just get over it. Dorn, Rogal, knew too. He was doing this for the sake of Sigismund not getting over this and, and there being something there. It being returned.

Some part of him longed for a last--and first--kiss, a last moment to hold with him through the years that were to come. But he didn’t try, didn’t ask, because Dorn was not a man who cut corners or compromised just because no one else would ever know, and Sigismund’s will and self-control had to be as good to be the kind of man he deserved. Sigismund never meant to hurt him, never would want to diminish him when he admired him so much.

He’d live with glimpses caught in the halls and pretending not to know each other as they walked past, not letting his gaze linger. He’d live with the reflexive thoughts about turning to him whenever he had a problem or making sure to be there for him when he did, even just as a sounding-board. He’d exceed at all his classes and research work, publish papers to be proud of even with inferior mentorship that wasn’t so perfect and right for him. He’d make Rogal proud. Then...

Sigismund had never wanted to push forward his defence date and graduate already so much.


End file.
